Sunday, April 25, 2010

Everyone likes a smackdown

"What made you do this? You are flowers who shed no perfume, but stench that makes the whole world reek." St. Catherine of Siena, writing to three Italian cardinals who supported the anti-pope during the Great Western Schism.

Ah, St. Catherine of Siena. I love her. She knew when to let people have it, even the pope. And they asked for it. The pope and bishops of her time asked her for her advice and she didn't sugar-coat it. She just told you. Sometimes she told them, even when they didn't ask. She made change happen. She got the pope to come back to Rome after fleeing for France (of course, after she died, he left again. I guess he needed her to keep kicking him in the pants.)

I think of how I'd like to tell some bishops off. Especially with all of the horrible crimes that some priests and bishops have committed that are all over the press now. The temptation is to vent all of one's justified anger toward these weak, weak men in an email and to just hit "send."

The main difference between Catherine and me is this: she understood that she wasn't equal to God. She understood humility. She understood that she wasn't better than those foul-smelling Italian bishops to whom that quote above is addressed.

I don't understand humility. Other people's mistakes make me feel, even for a second, better than they are. Don't you try to say that you never feel the same way. "If I were a priest, this would never have happened. If I were a bishop, I would have defrocked that priest instead of covering the abuse up! If I were that child's mother, I would have just called the cops; the bishop would have found out from the DA, not from me!"

I try to give myself a pass, thinking, maybe Catherine understood it better because she had visions and personal, face-to-face conversations with God. I think to myself, if God showed up in my room when I was praying, I'd get it too.

Catherine recorded that in one of her visions God told her: "I am who am; you are she who is not."

"I am who am; you are she who is not."

I am she who is not.

Y'know, Lord, that really kind of takes the fun out of the whole righteous indignation thing. You're really busting my flow.

See, thing is, it's all over the Bible how we're supposed to behave, how we're supposed to treat one another and how we dare not play God. I don't get a pass because Jesus isn't tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me to be humble as He is. I have the Scriptures to do that, I have good preaching to remind me. I have Jesus in the Eucharist to remind me how I am supposed to be.

And I have the writings of St. Catherine of Siena to prick my conscience when it needs it, when I need to be reminded.

I am she who is not.

humility

In my reading, I have noticed that saints are full of humility. Also, obviously, is Jesus. He truly humbled Himself, becoming human to save us from sin through His suffering, death, and resurrection.

Also in my reading, I am reminded over and over again that in order to become closer to God, one must humble oneself. So I prayed, "Humble me, Lord. Make me humble so I can be more like you." I promptly forgot about this prayer and got on with my life.

Have you ever been in a place in your professional or personal life where the allegorical buck must stop with you? Where you have had to make a hard, unpopular decision? The comments and communications about those difficult decisions that make everything more difficult to bear. We are left with several choices as to how to respond: meekness, compassion, gentleness. Then there is the more attractive (to my fallen nature) option: nasty yet witty email back, cutting remarks, gossip, and rage.

I try to take the high ground. Try to be meek, gentle, compassionate. Then I brood. I endlessly chatter on to others about how I was wronged, how unjustified so-and-so's behavior was, etc., boring to tears anyone who will listen for more than 5 minutes and in this way, feeding the unrest within my soul. I lose sleep over it. It was effects my family. I become ill at ease and unbearably cranky.

And one night, as I couldn't go to sleep, I had to write down my heart's conversation with God. And in it, He reminded me that I wanted to be humbled. He told me that in order to do this, He must put me in situations where I get to exercise the humility I am trying to strengthen. He also reminded me that these situations will be painful. I may not be called upon to endure what He endured, or even what St. Gerard Majella had to endure (falsely accused of rape, Gerard did not defend himself because the rule in the Redemptorist order is not to defend yourself when accused by making excuses-his accuser recanted after several months where Gerard was forbidden to leave the house or to take Communion), but that I would need to endure and I would need to start rejoicing in these small humiliations because they give me the chance to practice humility.

Then in the morning, as if to underline what He told my heart the night before, when I went to comment on a friend's blog, the comment verification word was "humbl."

So, I struggle, I try, and I have been schooled with a lesson I won't forget (at least until next week).

Thursday, April 22, 2010

off her game

"off balance" by Dean Farrell


I go through these periods of time in my life every so often where I am off-kilter: I don't seem to be communicating properly, I get behind at home and at work; just out of whack. It doesn't happen regularly, but when it does, it can last for 4-6 weeks.

Now is my really busy time at work: First Communions, Confirmations, Easter (not necessarily in that order), baseball, end-of-school stuff with the kids. I am in this off-kilter place right now (started 2 weeks ago) and it's not really good timing. I just can't afford to be a beat behind and feeling like all of my nerves are exposed at this time of year.

What also happens when I am here in Sideways Land (need to come up with a better name for that) is that I have a much lower tolerance for foolishness and for other people in general. From those I work with to my children, I am much more peevish and prone to snapping, like an irritated turtle.

Where I feel it most is in my daily conversations with my husband. I tend to take things extra personally when I am in this place and I wonder, "What did he mean by that? What's he REALLY saying?" When, of course, Scott, like most other men, doesn't have an alternate meaning behind his words. He says what he means and he means what he says. Not much more than that.

So, what's a girl to do?

This girl is going to get back to the nationally-known weight loss program she was on. I've gained about 15 pounds since Christmas. I have had 4 cycles, and each time thought I was pregnant so I haven't been back. I've decided that even though we're not-not-trying to get pregnant anymore that it's just not as easy for me to conceive as it used to be. Maybe it just gets like that when you hit your mid 30's. And it's harder to take the weight off at my age anyways, so I'm getting back on that horse.

This girl is also going to start exercising daily again. I feel better when I'm moving around. I'm also going to get more sleep. I really need 8 hours and I've only been getting about 6. I'm also going to pray more regularly and truly make time for the Lord in my life.

And maybe I'll finally make that overdue appointment to get the stuff under the hood checked out.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Divine Mercy Sunday

Divine Mercy Novena Day 9

"Today bring to Me the Souls who have become Lukewarm, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. These souls wound My Heart most painfully. My soul suffered the most dreadful loathing in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls. They were the reason I cried out: 'Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.' For them, the last hope of salvation is to run to My mercy."

Most compassionate Jesus, You are Compassion Itself. I bring lukewarm souls into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart. In this fire of Your pure love, let these tepid souls who, like corpses, filled You with such deep loathing, be once again set aflame. O Most Compassionate Jesus, exercise the omnipotence of Your mercy and draw them into the very ardor of Your love, and bestow upon them the gift of holy love, for nothing is beyond Your power.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon lukewarm souls who are nonetheless enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Father of Mercy, I beg You by the bitter Passion of Your Son and by His three-hour agony on the Cross: Let them, too, glorify the abyss of Your mercy. Amen.

Then pray the chaplet:

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 8


"Today bring to Me the Souls who are in the prison of Purgatory, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. Let the torrents of My Blood cool down their scorching flames. All these souls are greatly loved by Me. They are making retribution to My justice. It is in your power to bring them relief. Draw all the indulgences from the treasury of My Church and offer them on their behalf. Oh, if you only knew the torments they suffer, you would continually offer for them the alms of the spirit and pay off their debt to My justice."

Most Merciful Jesus, You Yourself have said that You desire mercy; so I bring into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls in Purgatory, souls who are very dear to You, and yet, who must make retribution to Your justice. May the streams of Blood and Water which gushed forth from Your Heart put out the flames of Purgatory, that there, too, the power of Your mercy may be celebrated.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls suffering in Purgatory, who are enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. I beg You, by the sorrowful Passion of Jesus Your Son, and by all the bitterness with which His most sacred Soul was flooded: Manifest Your mercy to the souls who are under Your just scrutiny. Look upon them in no other way but only through the Wounds of Jesus, Your dearly beloved Son; for we firmly believe that there is no limit to Your goodness and compassion. Amen.

Then Pray the Chaplet:

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 7


"Today bring to Me the Souls who especially venerate and glorify My Mercy, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls sorrowed most over my Passion and entered most deeply into My spirit. They are living images of My Compassionate Heart. These souls will shine with a special brightness in the next life. Not one of them will go into the fire of hell. I shall particularly defend each one of them at the hour of death."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose Heart is Love Itself, receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who particularly extol and venerate the greatness of Your mercy. These souls are mighty with the very power of God Himself. In the midst of all afflictions and adversities they go forward, confident of Your mercy; and united to You, O Jesus, they carry all mankind on their shoulders. These souls will not be judged severely, but Your mercy will embrace them as they depart from this life.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls who glorify and venerate Your greatest attribute, that of Your fathomless mercy, and who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls are a living Gospel; their hands are full of deeds of mercy, and their hearts, overflowing with joy, sing a canticle of mercy to You, O Most High! I beg You O God: Show them Your mercy according to the hope and trust they have placed in You. Let there be accomplished in them the promise of Jesus, who said to them that during their life, but especially at the hour of death, the souls who will venerate this fathomless mercy of His, He, Himself, will defend as His glory. Amen.

Then Pray the Chaplet:
1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 6


"Today bring to Me the Meek and Humble Souls and the Souls of Little Children, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence. "

Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, "Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart." Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father's favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.


Then Pray the Chaplet:

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 5

"Today bring to Me the Souls of those who have separated themselves from My Church,
and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart, that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church My wounds heal and in this way they alleviate My Passion."

Most Merciful Jesus, Goodness Itself, You do not refuse light to those who seek it of You. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Church. Draw them by Your light into the unity of the Church, and do not let them escape from the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart; but bring it about that they, too, come to glorify the generosity of Your mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Son's Church, who have squandered Your blessings and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors. Do not look upon their errors, but upon the love of Your own Son and upon His bitter Passion, which He underwent for their sake, since they, too, are enclosed in His Most Compassionate Heart. Bring it about that they also may glorify Your great mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Then Pray the Chaplet:

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 4

"Today bring to Me those who do not believe in God and those who do not know Me, I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy."

Most compassionate Jesus, You are the Light of the whole world. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who do not believe in God and of those who as yet do not know You. Let the rays of Your grace enlighten them that they, too, together with us, may extol Your wonderful mercy; and do not let them escape from the abode which is Your Most Compassionate Heart.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who do not believe in You, and of those who as yet do not know You, but who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Draw them to the light of the Gospel. These souls do not know what great happiness it is to love You. Grant that they, too, may extol the generosity of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.


Then Pray the Chaplet:

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.
2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.
3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).
4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 3

"Today bring to Me all Devout and Faithful Souls, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. These souls brought me consolation on the Way of the Cross. They were a drop of consolation in the midst of an ocean of bitterness."

Most Merciful Jesus, from the treasury of Your mercy, You impart Your graces in great abundance to each and all. Receive us into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart and never let us escape from It. We beg this grace of You by that most wondrous love for the heavenly Father with which Your Heart burns so fiercely.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon faithful souls, as upon the inheritance of Your Son. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, grant them Your blessing and surround them with Your constant protection. Thus may they never fail in love or lose the treasure of the holy faith, but rather, with all the hosts of Angels and Saints, may they glorify Your boundless mercy for endless ages. Amen.


Then Pray the Chaplet:
1. Begin with The Apostles Creed, 1 Hail Mary and 1 Our Father.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena Day 2


"Today bring to Me the Souls of Priests and Religious, and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind."

Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service, that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard -- upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

1. Begin with The Apostles Creed, 1 Hail Mary, and 1 Our Father.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Divine Mercy Novena, Day 1

The Divine Mercy Novena begins today, Good Friday. From EWTN:

Jesus asked that the Feast of the Divine Mercy be preceded by a Novena to the Divine Mercy which would begin on Good Friday. He gave St. Faustina Kowalska an intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.... In her diary, St. Faustina wrote that Jesus told her: "On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy ... On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces for these souls."

For the next nine days, you can find the novena here. Click here for information on the Mercy Sunday Indulgence.

Prayer for Novena Day One (Good Friday): "Today bring to Me all mankind, especially all sinners, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."
Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit. Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Then, pray the Chaplet (can be said on a rosary, but your fingers work just as well):

1. Begin with 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
(Repeat steps 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Jesus, I Trust in You!


Everyone, tomorrow is Good Friday (duh) and the first day of the Divine Mercy Novena. I will post the prayers for each day of the Novena here in these pages. The Hour of Mercy is 3 PM, but it is excellent to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at any time of day.

See you back here tomorrow...