One of the places we got to visit in Vatican City is the pope's garage. Well, maybe not it's not technically his garage since it is more like a museum than a garage. But nonetheless, it does have papal vehicles dating back a few hundred years.
It's what all the papal horses were wearing in the fall of 1756.
They were pulling this stylish gold carriage, given to His Holiness by the people of Venice, I believe.
Sometimes you just don't want to go through the trouble of getting the Horses dressed and hooked up just to run out to the VII-XI for some gum and a quart of milk, so you just have a couple of the Swiss Guard carry you around in this simple vehicle (Holy Spirit as a dove embroidered on the ceiling inside. So not kidding.).
There are also a couple of white Popemobiles. Yes, Scott actually did lean on the bumper.
This one is my favorite. It's Pius XII's limousine. I don't think you can tell in this picture, but it's got an armchair in the back. Because the bench seat is just not going to cut it. Maybe it is a really low seat in the back. Scott used to have an Oldsmobile 88 and when you sat in the back, it was like sitting in a hole. Adults could only just see over the window frame. So, maybe the pope needed a booster seat. You know, so he can bless you as he's rolling by. (Parents: Now you can tell your kids that even the pope has a booster seat, so just get buckled in already!)
This limo and its armchair in the back got me thinking that EWTN needs a new show: "Pope my Ride." Instead of Xzibit hosting, you get Fr. Stan Fortuna to take your car to Dr. Denis MacNamara to trick out your car. The Last Judgment from the Sistine chapel on the hood and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel embroidered on your ceiling. And in addition to the gas meter on your dashboard, you could have a dial that shows you when you need to go Confession. Maybe instead of a trip meter, you can get a Rosary Counter so you never lose track of how many Hail Marys you have left to say in the 5th glorious Mystery. It's hard to hold the beads and drive at the same time. There is the obligatory sound system and TV in the trunk (with wood carving covered in gold leaf), but it is hooked up to play the Te Deum and reruns of "Mother Angelica Live." Painted across the back bumper is "Jesus is My Homeboy."
And while I'm lifting ideas from MTV, EWTN can air its counter programming to "Jersey Shore:" "Summit NJ," where we follow the nuns of the Monastery of Our Lady of the Rosary around for the summer. Instead of drunkenness and bar fights, we can watch young women pray, study, pick vegetables, and make soap.