Thursday, December 09, 2010


suckity sucksucksucksucks suck.

My life is complicated and stressful right now. And in it I can see God's hand holding mine. I can see Him providing though the kindness of other people and I am grateful.

Just not cheerful.

I am beyond frustrated with certain people I am related to.

I am depressed.

I am angry.

I want normal again.

I want this sh!t to stop hitting the fan during the winter holidays (This isn't the first time it has all gone to hell right before Thanksgiving). I feel stressed right now because I can't do the things I want to do at this time of year. I don't feel adequately SPIRITUALLY prepared for Christmas.

I can't think any further ahead than the next 5 minutes. It's 12:13. I'm just trying to get to 1:00.

I feel like I'm in a constant state of prayer because otherwise I would have lost my mind.

Went to the OB yesterday. Unbelieveably, my blood pressure was normal: 110/70. That is a miracle because I spent the whole morning trying to wrangle 2 misbehaving children at Mass and listening to them bicker and tattle on each other ALL MORNING. ALL MORNING!

I feel like I go around the clock and am accomplishing nothing.

I know so many of you are praying for me. And I am so grateful for that. And I know that these problems I have, when taken with those of other people, are not a lot.

I'm just in the thick of it right now. And trying to get to 1:00.