Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Standing by her man

NY times photo 
Here is Silda Spitzer standing next to her husband at the press conference on Monday.   So today the papers and bloggers are buzzing: why is she standing there with him?  Didn't she learn anything from Dina McGreevey? Oner blogger pointed out that both Mrs. Spitzer and Mrs. McGreevey were wearing pale blue suits on the day that their husbands had press conferences admitting to the world that they screwed up their marriages.  One blogger I read in the paper today said he thought this was like battered wife syndrome: she's staying because she has no one else to go to. 

But why does she stand there with him while he has this press conference, addressing the bad choices he's made regarding his family and his career?  I can't pretend to know the mind of Silda Spitzer.  But I think it's safe to say that she loves him.  

It's so simple, really.  No matter what kind of a jerk he's been, she loves him.  No matter how much of their money he spent on call girls, she loves him.  I can probably guess that she doesn't like him very much right now.  But she loves him.

She takes seriously her marriage vows.  She promised to stick it out in good times and in bad.  She is thinking of her children.  They are suffering and to have the press speculating about where she is if not at the press conference would make it worse for them.  

She is strong.  She may decide later that his breach of their marriage bed is a "deal breaker" (to quote Dr. Phil),  but right now she has decided that she's going to be the strong one since her husband is so weak.  

Silda, this married woman wants to thank you for showing the rest of us how to be graceful and strong in the face of such betrayal.  This married woman wants to thank you for showing us all what it means to honor your marriage vows, especially when your husband didn't.  Thanks for showing us that a lady doesn't kick her husband to the curb, even when our culture encourages her to do so.  

1 comment:

Barb, sfo said...

Amy, thanks for pointing all of this out. Many are quick to criticize Mrs. Spitzer, and no one really knows what is in her heart.
My prayers are with that family, including their teenage children, right now.