We had a fight last week. Let us make no mistake: I was 100% wrong for being as thoughtless as I was. I was glad he told me about it because I need to know when I do things that hurt him so I can avoid it in the future.
My feelings were hurt in the exchange and I nursed this hurt that night and the next morning. It was hard for me to keep remembering that I was wrong. "He shouldn't have said it that way. He's restricting my freedom. I should be able to do and say what I want. He's being unreasonable." My conscience kept prodding me: "Remember that YOU were wrong. And you hurt him badly."
And as I drove in the car that morning, late to somewhere I really didn't want to be, the Lord blessed me with this realization: "This grudge that you so tenderly nurse is the evil one at work: undermining your relationship with your husband, your marriage, and your family. Your energy is misplaced."
With that, immediately, I said, "Get behind me, Satan. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command you to leave me alone," and the hurt I had taken care of so well for those past 12 hours evaporated.
I praise God for the grace to see the trickery of the devil for what it is. The temptation to nurse that grudge came back over the course of the day, but the temptation and the grudge were not as strong and with the same prayer the Lord dismissed them quickly.
When you have a grudge you're taking such good care of, or anger that flares within you, be quick to ask yourself where it comes from. Is it building up love? Is it advancing the Kingdom of God on earth, as all of us baptized Christians are called to do? If it is not, then call upon the Lord to deliver you from the evil one, who is tempting you.
Make no mistake, the root of your grudge, your anger, is the evil one calling you away from your work. Recognize him and call upon the Lord to put him right back in his place.