Thursday, May 06, 2010

It's not easy to hear someone say: "I feel hurt because of X thing you did." It's hard to hear that and to see your fault plainly. It's humiliating to know that you hurt someone. It's humiliating to know that you're not perfect.

In that humilation, we can do one of two things. We can become defensive. "Well, you started it!" "I did that but you did this to me!" "Why are you yelling at me?!" Defensiveness is selfish. Defensiveness doesn't heal. Defensiveness makes it worse.

Or, we can recognize the humiliation for the good it can do: in this moment, with God's help, we have the power to change, the power to heal the relationship, the person whom we have hurt, and ourselves. We can say, "I'm sorry I did that. I am sorry I hurt you. I will do better next time." No excuses. We must acknowledge our weaknesses and resolve to do better in the future.

So very difficult to acknowledge one's humanity, yet so necessary.

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