Thursday, April 02, 2009

I am here to help

I promise to get more of the New Orleans trip stuff up soon, but I want to wait until Scott's article gets published in case I wind up saying things he wants to say or use pictures he wants to use.

So, you know how the president is in Europe right now attending the G20 meeting? You know that he met the Queen yesterday? You know what he gave her? An i-pod. Now that is a fun gift, and certainly cool, but really, is it presidential? Then again, she gave him a framed photo of herself and Prince Phillip (the article says that all visiting dignitaries get one. I hope it's a nice frame.), so maybe it's not so weird.

BUT, a few weeks ago, when Prime Minister Gordon Brown made an official visit to our newly-elected president, Brown brought Mr. Obama really cool gifts from our nation's history:
The Prime Minister gave Mr Obama an ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet.
The unique present delighted Mr Obama because oak from the Gannet's sister ship, HMS Resolute, was carved to make a desk that has sat in the Oval Office in the White House since 1880.

Mr Brown also handed over a framed commission for HMS Resolute and a first edition of the seven-volume biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert.

Do you know what our president gave to Mr. Brown? 25 DVDs. DVDs that won't even play on a DVD player in the UK because DVDs and players are formatted differently for international markets. You really must read the whole article from the Daily Mail, which is quoted above.

I am getting a little frustrated with the gifts Obama's giving to international dignitaries. He's making us look a little amateurish. Scott suggested checking out the warehouse where they took the Ark of the Covenant at the end of "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark," but I'm not sure they tell even the President where that is.

So, even though I didn't vote for Mr. Obama, I am willing to help out by being the official shopper for our country. I love finding gifts that make people happy and I would love to be paid to do that.

Here are some things that I think would have been great to give to our friends from the UK:

Gordon Brown wears lots of nice suits, but the recession is hitting us all hard. It's probably not as easy for him to get the same clothes as he could afford last year. Why not a $150 gift card to Harrod's? That way, he can pick what he wants.

But the exchange rate isn't that good. Our $150 would probably only be like 100 pounds. Maybe he could get a tie.

I know. British people like their afternoon tea. Why not some yummy cookies? Like Mrs. Fields or Famous Amos? Oh, but the Mrs. Fields' company is declaring bankruptcy and Wally Amos had some financial problems, too. Probably not the best idea in these troubled times.

Oh, I know! How about Martha Washington's cookbook? It has recipes prepared by the first First Lady herself for all of her family and her hired (and purchased) help. Mrs. Brown and the Queen might have to start preparing meals for hungry Brits who will start filling the bread lines if the global economy goes all the way into the crapper, so these recipes for rib-sticking "olde tyme" farm food might be a good idea. Come to think of it, let's make sure we give Mrs. O. a copy, too.

Boy, this is harder than I thought. None of these gifts are really historical enough or important enough. And a lot of people have them. I need to come up with something that just screams, "SPECIAL!!!!"

Think, think, think...

This is it! I would totally give the Queen the alien spaceship that crashed into Area 51. Let's face it, we already picked it apart and we know how it works now (plus, I bet we bred a whole bunch of aliens who are busy building new spaceships for us). We could get some of those little gray guys to fix up the original, make it remote controlled, and then we can just put it in the cargo hold of Air Force One and drop it off. I'll bet the Queen has a ton of fun freaking out her subjects by flying a saucer around London. And maybe Gordon Brown could take it out to where they have the crop circles. That would really get people talking. Let's get their minds off the recession and get them thinking about alien invasion!

So, Mr. Obama I will be waiting by the phone. I am ready to start any time.


Anonymous said...

That post made me laugh on a day I really needed it. Thanks>

Kate P said...

You would rock as a personal shopper.

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