As I was leaving the post office yesterday, planning what I was going to pick up from McDonald's for lunch before heading to work, who should I run into but Roni, my Weight Watchers leader. (dunh dunh dunh!!!!!)

I should tell you that I have always been overweight. Not obese-just chunky. I'm 5'2" and I weighed 180 lbs. when I first went on program, a year or more after Primo's birth. I was tired of being inactive. I was tired of getting out of breath climbing the stairs and then I saw on the news that overweight women have a higher risk of developing breast cancer (family history on my mother's side). So I joined. I was a stay at home mom and I had loads of time to take Primo to the park and to exercise and plan out my meals for the day. Roni had been trying to recruit me to become a WW employee, that's how well I did on the program. I got down to 134 when we concieved Bubba. I wasn't disappointed because we really wanted Bubba, having miscarried twice between him and Primo. And I thought: I did it once, I can do it again.

Well, I had started working for the parish while pregnant with Bubba and had a lot less time to exercise and plan what I ate. I didn't do as well the next 2 times I joined. I was back up at 180 when we conceived Baby Girl (expected at the end of this month). I haven't gained as much weight this time like I did with the boys (I gained 65 lbs with each of them. I'll probably only gain about 45 with this one). And let's be frank, when you are over 200 lbs. when you give birth, 180 feels pretty skinny.

Well, seeing Roni yesterday put my brain into higher gear thinking about what I'm going to stuff my face with after this child is born. It's been on my mind anyway, since it would kind of be nice to be a size 10 again.

But now I'm thinking more in terms of: OK, i'm having a girl this time and I don't want to be a bad example of fitness to her. I don't want her getting all neurotic about her weight and body image because of me. The teen magazines and her peers will contribute enough to that. I want my little girl to be able to look at her mom and say to herself: "She's got it together. I don't have to listen to this crap I'm being fed by my culture. I'm just going to take care of myself."

So, I will head back to Weight Watchers a few weeks after the baby is born. I will lose the weight I've gained since 2003. And you poor people are going to have to read about it. You poor folks are going to have to help me be accountable to myself. I promise that this will not devolve into a diet journal. I may just put something on the sidebar about how I did at every weekly weigh-in. But if my 5 readers are watching, maybe it will help me stay on target when my life gets really busy again.

BTW: I got the Asian Chicken Salad (grilled chicken, tyvm) and a fruit and yogurt parfait for lunch. I decided against the double quarter pounder and fries. Thanks Roni :)